Orgasming can often feel like the ‘point’ of sex, but it is actually far from it.
So far in fact, that many people have never orgasmed and yet still enjoy sex.
However, for those that crave reaching that all-encompassing finish line, there are multiple ways to help you get there.
DailyMail.com spoke with Emma Kobil, LPC, a trauma therapist who specializes in working with women and couples.
Emma revealed why someone may struggle to orgasm, what it feels like, and how better to reach that pleasurable light at the end of the tunnel.
Why are some women unable to orgasm?
There are many reasons a woman would struggle to reach the finish line.
Emma broke them down into three parts – unprocessed shame or mental blocks, lack of clitoral stimulation, and unprocessed trauma.
She explained: ‘If you’re worried about how you look, sound, or whether you’re ‘doing it right,’ your nervous system may stay in a state of tension rather than relaxation — making orgasm difficult.’
DailyMail.com spoke with Emma Kobil, LPC, a trauma therapist who specializes in working with women and couples, about orgasms (stock image)
Emma also gave tips on how to overcome this blockage.
‘If this is you, know that you cannot force your nervous system to calm down or force an orgasm,’ she said.
‘Rather, just begin to notice that this is happening and practice some self-kindness.
‘Know that you do not NEED to reach orgasm for anyone and be patient with your body.’
The sex expert also urged people to: ‘Consider processing what’s coming up for you with a friend or therapist.’
Most women are all too familiar with very little clitoral stimulation with some partners not even attempting to touch the little magic button.
Emma expressed that, ‘Many women don’t orgasm from penetration alone.
‘The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings and often requires direct stimulation, but very few women are taught about how to pleasure themselves.’
To take the reins on your own pleasure, Emma advised, ‘getting a vibrator and exploring your clitoris.’
Emma revealed why someone may struggle to orgasm, what it feels like, and how better to reach that pleasurable light at the end of the tunnel (stock image)
Emma also revealed that unprocessed trauma can play a part in your lack of climaxing.
‘Past negative experiences, religious conditioning, or shame around pleasure can lead to emotional blocks that make it harder to let go,’ she shared.
She also wanted to note: ‘If your partner is moving too quickly or not tuned in to your needs, your body might not have time to build up to orgasm.’
Many women can attest to this fact – especially when men slow down, speed up, or change their rhythm despite our signals.
What can an orgasm feel like?
If you’ve never had an orgasm before, you might not know what to expect.
Emma explained what a big O can feel like for a woman.
‘An orgasm can feel like a buildup of pleasure that intensifies and releases in waves.
‘Involuntary muscle contractions in the pelvic floor and vaginal walls.
‘A feeling of warmth, tingling, or rush of euphoria through the body.
‘And a deep sense of relaxation or release afterward.’
The next time you are exploring your body or being intimate with a partner, pay attention to how your body is reacting and you may be closer to an orgasm than you think.
How can women increase their chances of an orgasm?
Emma came equipped with tips to help women who struggle in the climax department.
She once again revealed a list that women can turn to when they’re trying to orgasm – prioritize foreplay and clitoral stimulation, understand your body through self-exploration, communicate with your partner, and challenge shame or negative beliefs.
‘Instead of rushing to penetration, explore what feels good, including oral, toys, or hand stimulation,’ the sex expert advised.
‘Do this by yourself at first, and then invite your partner in when you feel ready and safe enough to do so.
‘Talk about any fears that may come up for you if it feels safe to do so.’
She also encouraged taking the time to learn about your own body.
‘Masturbation can help you learn what kind of pressure, speed, or rhythm works for you. Take your time with this and don’t feel pressure for anything to happen,’ she suggested.
Communication and honesty with your partner is also key.
Emma said: ‘Give clear, gentle feedback about what feels good (and what doesn’t) so they can help meet your needs.’
She also urges people to challenge shame that may clog their brains while they’re trying to enjoy themselves.
‘If thoughts like “I take too long” or “I shouldn’t need this” come up, remind yourself that there’s nothing wrong with you,’ she shared.
‘Many women have and do struggle with this issue and there is never any pressure for you to orgasm.
‘Allow yourself to get curious about the journey without trying to force yourself to arrive at an endpoint.’
This article was originally published by a www.dailymail.co.uk . Read the Original article here. .